A Public Correction of Mr. Shawn Hanntity

For the record: Mr. Shawn Hannity has stated 387 times on his radio/TV programs that unemployment went down during the course of the Bush administration.

This is a complete untruth. (Untruths are not a problem for Mr. H.)

For the record: Mr. Bush inherited an employment rate of 4.0% in the year 2000. The unemployment rate went up every year of his reign, to the glorious 6.0+% of today.

I will bet you one US nickle Mr. Hannity states this obvious untruth with passion and conviction and absolute certainty tonight. Or at least tomorrow.

Where is the Lie Meter when we need it?

The Noteworthy Right-Wing Mind Filter

Although it's quite popular for the Fox News folks or the radio talk show hosts to throw stones at the left-leaning mainstream media and its many sins, perhaps they should check out their own house first. Let he who is without sin, etc.

Seven years ago I got into a giant argument or three about the Bush administration's responsibility in the matter of the 9/11 attacks. I was told emphatically that it was all Clinton's fault. Not long ago, I got into an argument about the current economic woes. I was told it was all Oboma's fault. (It's safe to conclude I'm an argumentative sort.)

I now believe right wingers have a filter which cleverly allows only good things to pass through and enter their minds. Bush and his administration bear no responsibility for anything bad which happens on their watch. If something bad does happen, it's the previous/incoming president's fault. Often wrong but never uncertain.

Lord, it's no wonder we threw the rascals out.

Mr. Bush Whacks Me Once Last Time

I play poker for money on the Internet. Bring on the handcuffs.

About three years ago, in a classic sneaky-politician move, a Republican lawmaker stuck a rider onto a sure-to-pass seaport security bill. He did this literally in the middle of the night. His rider (which had nothing whatsoever to do with port security) is now law: The Unlawful Internet Gambling Act or some such. Dumb law. Happily, the sunbitch was thrown out of office by his constituents the next year.

Now the Bush administration, rushing to get a few more slaps in on the electorate, has implemented measures to define and enforce this stupid law. They will go into effect on 19 January next year, one day before the Bush comet disappears from the heavens forever.

The law is hated by the banks, the Internet money sites, the people who have to enforce it, the poker sites, the millions who play Internet poker (the Poker Stars site alone often has 120,000 people playing) and the credit card companies.

And me.

This administration has an awful lot of blood on its hands, a dismal record of governance, an approval rating in the cellar and a overspending record that is mind-boggling. In a mere eight years, it has presided over the worst terrorist assault on our country in history and managed to host the worst economic crash since the Great Depression. Yet this administration still has the incredible arrogance to decide how and where I should spend my leisure-time money.

There must be a special place in hell for such wickedly misplaced self-assurance.

STUFF

Roughly 300 years ago, my late older brother and I were sitting on the steps of his home drinking a beer. We were moving him. Resting after carting maybe six dozen or sixty dozen boxes full of stuff and loading same on the truck.

"Each thing in those boxes costs at least a buck," Don said.

Stuff. Right now at my less-than-spacious home outside of Seadrift, Texas, I see:

Two cars (256,000 and 182,000 miles respectively)
One boat (1977 model w/1999 outboard engine)
Lawnmower (large, for riding)
Lawnmower (small, for pushing by the neighbor's kid)
Weed-eater (temperamental)
One 300-watt generator (hurricanes)
Fish pond w/fish (four koi and two nasty algae-eaters)
Armadillo trap (on loan and ineffectual)
.22 Rifle (See Armadillo Wars)
Fishing rods (seven, four operational at this time)
Books (approximately 1800 downstairs, three of which I wrote)
Computers (two, one running Windows 2000 - ancient like me)
Several 3/8" drills (one working)
Router, circular saw, miter saw (happily I still have ten fingers)
Nails by the box and screws by the WalMart package (almost all types, except the type I need)
Screwdrivers (32)
Hammers (four)
Other tools (esoteric and otherwise, some antique)
Tape (six types)
Glues and paints and lubricants (mostly dried up, sadly)
Photos (from my grandfather to my grandchildren - grandchildren much prettier)
Pills and liniments (some mentionable)
Flashlights and torches (approximately nine)
Dog stuff (treats, vitamins, food, leads, pads and pillows - it's a dog's life)
Inflatable mattress (not a doll!)
Fax machine/copier (currently out of paper)
Squeaky toys (for visiting firedogs)
Other (I weary of this list but lots of "other")

Stuff. Happily I do not think moving will happen within my lifetime.

So Why Kill Me?

Islamic militants want to kill me. I accept this premise due to 9/11 and assorted other atrocities.

Why?

This premise is the reason for the existence of Homeland Security, the invasion of Iraq, the lines at airport counters, the (oddly named) Patriot Act, a substantial part of our incredible debt, the two elections of George W. and a good deal of our national angst.

But why?

Nowhere in the media is there an explanation. No pundit on TV bothers to explain. Just why are they so pissed off? The hatred is an impressive one: suicide bombers and flying airliners into skyscrapers are the acts of highly motivated humans, to say the least.

Why?

Perhaps if we could determine the "why", we could more efficiently work toward finding a "How To". How to solve the problem, take the edge off the hate and use our national energies in a more useful way.

Sincerity, even if you have to fake it.

I am exposed to Fox News (Republican National Network) much like coal miners are exposed to black dust. It's an occupational or matrimonial hazard. Thus I was treated to the sight of Commentator Sean Hannity sincerely telling the world that his "thoughts and prayers" go out to Senator Obama upon the death of Obama's grandmother.

Gag. Gimmie a break.

Sean Hannity has used every trick in the propaganda book to vilify Obama. Half-truths and outright lies, out-of-context quotes, endless repetition of catch-phrases ("white flag of surrender"), bogymen large and small, unnamed fears, guilt by association, hunting of witches: his body of work on this matter is a squirming smelly slime-pit.

I am reminded of an earlier fear monger, Senator Joe McCarthy and the disgust expressed by Mr. Welch: "Have you no shame, Sir?"

Mr. Hannity has none. And his sanctimonious good wishes are simply disgusting.

Dead Mama raccoon and the $700 billion.

I live in an isolated area across from a cattle pasture. (See: The Armadillo Wars.) Down the road an expiring Mama raccoon dragged herself to the grassy shoulder and passed away. The clean-up crew was on the job early the next morning: turkey buzzards, about a dozen of the big black birds, eyes glaring and wattles flaring, fought over the corpse.

Within a day, the unfortunate raccoon was down to a shiny-clean skeleton and a wisp of fur at the very end of the tail. The bones gleamed in the sunlight.

Reminds me of our esteemed leaders and the $700 billion bailout money which we don't have.

Six governors say the auto industry could use a few bil, just to keep things moving at the alter of jobs. The weight-lifter in California says his state's going bankrupt and he better get some bil quick from the $700 billion we don't have. Mr. McCain wants to pay off or buy up or do something with troubled mortgages and the investment banks and insurance companies and bank-banks think they need a few hundred bil that we don't have sent their way ASAP.

Best of my knowledge none of these folks can fly or have wattles, otherwise the similarity is remarkable.

The hounds of Fox

Those foxy devils at the Republican National Network are hard at work. They cannot run the tape of Rev. Wright giving the country the ole what-for anymore since it has worn out from their overuse. Tape-less they were in a near-panic until they heard about another tape currently in the possession of the Los Angeles Times. "Show us the tape!" they roar! (They have a god-given right to any and all pieces of information in any and all media at any and all times, just ask them.)

I understand they have brand new Halloween costumes too. They're going as journalists.

Sex, War, Eternal Damnation, Get Rich Easily and J. Roberts Nakid

Sometimes a newly minted blogger feels lonely. Do his clever cries fall upon uncaring ears? My daughter said I'd get read more if I put stuff in the headline which would be picked up by search engines. 'Nuff said.

The Armadillo Wars

Wickipedia states "armadillos have few natural predators."

Obviously they have never heard of me. And listen. I am, by nature, a most non-violent sort of person. I often carry spiders gently outside and let them go, rather than squashing them. I swat only the most persistent flies. I wouldn't dream of shooting Bambi and I let go of the few fish stupid enough to snag my hooks. But. I make an exception for those odd armored creatures who are engaged in a neo-fascist plot to destroy my paltry few square feet of St. Augustine grass! Digging for bugs, for god's sake!! (My wife says I really shouldn't shout at the computer.)

When the first few holes appeared in my small plot, I shrugged and stomped them more-or-less back in place. Armadillos have to eat, too, I reasoned. However these are creatures of pernicious habit. Once they find a bug or two they do a Douglas MacArthur on you. They return. And bring all their extended family! Armadillo picnics! Family reunions. Friends and armadillo neighbors. Soon there are squads and platoons of armadillos using earth movers and D-9 Caterpillar tractors to uproot my lawn. Tactical atomic weapons are deployed! My lawn looks like the Fifth Armored Division has been practicing tank maneuvers on its tattered surface. The cat fell in an armadillo hole and couldn't get out! (I am not shouting.)

Armadillo and axe-murderers are nocturnal. They carry out their destructive missions in the wee hours. They refuse to come out during waking periods and fight like a man.

Bear, the black family Lab, has been a big help. He roars and bounds down the outside stairs to attack the sluggish armadillos who prudently scurry off. But even Bear has to sleep. The armadillos apparently have heat-sensing devices installed in the Bear-pad on the deck so they know when he comes inside to bed. Then the pointed snouts appear and root ravenously in what remains of the grass. I think they are using CB radios to alert even more armadillos that the coast is clear. Perhaps billboards on high-traffic armadillo avenues. They thumb their noses at me in a most impertinent fashion. (Armadillos can really thumb their noses.)

I seek aid and relief from a laconic gentleman at the feed store. He suggests coyote...er..urine. "They won't come near it." Who would? My daughter has heard that human hair strewn about is equally repellent to armadillos. Alas, I am bald. And my efforts to build coyote latrines on the front lawn that meet neighborhood building codes are admittedly a failure. Someone else suggested moth balls. I bought a gross and the armadillos put on a juggling show with the little white balls.

Thus you find me, well into the Years of Social Security, at 4:10AM clad only in sagging boxers and with just a trace of foam at the corner of my mouth carrying a seldom used .22 rifle, trying to hold a flashlight and the gun, tripping on armadillo holes and trying not to shoot myself in the foot.

War is hell indeed.

Strawmen we have known and loved

This morning I woke up at 5:30AM to a pretty blond lady on Fox News. Waking up with pretty blond ladies is perfectly okay with me although this particular person was quite upset. Senator Obama was redistributing the wealth and Senator Biden was annoyed because another blond lady (They're everywhere, they're everywhere!) had asked him a question which compared Obama to Karl Marx.

Hello?

Redistribution of wealth is the core of the progressive tax system we use here in this country, which is often called America. Other even more egregious examples include Governor Palin's often expressed brag that she levied a windfall profits tax on "them big oil companies" and gave each resident of Alaska a bonus check with the cash received. An extra bonus check.

Lions and tigers and socialism! Oh my!

Great Lines I Never Heard (And one I did)

Senator John Kerry upon being swiftboated - "I was there, in-country, carrying a weapon. My opponent was not."

Senator Barrack Obama upon hearing of Ms. Palin's new $150,000 wardrobe - "This is the party of fiscal responsibility? Shoulda gone to J.C. Pennys."

President George W. Bush referring to S. Hussain's prior to invading Iraq (saw this on TV) - "Well, he tried to kill my Dad."

They Always Screw It Up.

Man, I believed in John Kennedy. Then he did the Bay of Pigs. I thought Jimmy Carter was a good man. Then 19% inflation and the aborted Iran rescue mission. I voted for Regan and he promptly set a new World Unlimited Record for criminal indictments served on members of his administration. Bush the One was okay if bored. Then I thought President Clinton was okay for a pol and he spit missiles rather randomly across the world. Didn't like Bush the Two from the gitgo since he wanted to rule from the Men's Lounge at the River Oaks Country Club. His invasion of Iraq reminds me of an elephant happily stomping on a flea, only to find it was a decoy flea set enticingly on a field of super glue. Assuming Obama gets elected, I predict an invasion from outer space or giant ants crawling out of cracks in the earth.